What is expected of me?

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In society and especially the media good sex is the ultimate, desirable aspect in a relationship, or in a ‘non-relationship’. Good sex is shown everywhere; it is plastered through out women’s and men’s magazines. The expectation of good sex is seen on television, commercials, and movies. It is joked about and admired. It has its own aisle in books stores and has inspired hundreds of workshops to help people achieve this desired commodity. Good sex is in high demand, and the supply is right along up there.

As a growing adolescent and teenager, I have learned about sex mostly through school and hearing others joke about it. Besides the sex-education week provided in health class that would just re-educate us on the matter, I learned what sex was by my peers (who were unfortunately just as clueless as I was). Sex was considered ‘bad’ or ‘dirty’, those that had sex at a young age were judged greatly, however, deep down they were also envied by all.

I didn’t hear about good sex or how to have it until I started to read teen magazines and watched television shows geared more towards adults. Whenever one of my girlfriends would buy a Cosmopolitan Magazine, all of the girls (including myself) would huddle around and absorb every page as if we were cramming for an exam that was due the next day. We would read all of the articles describing in great detail explicit and exciting sex acts to perform ‘for your man’ to ‘blow his mind’ or ‘make him coming back for more’. Ways to keep your man interested in you sexually and to bring your sex life to the expected level. We would be giggling the whole time, despite how these magazines are instilling in our rather young minds what is expected of us as a woman, a girlfriend, a lover or a wife. We are responsible as good lovers should to know the man’s secret spots and what would “drive him crazy”.

I mean, why just have sex when you can have good sex? Much of the media and commercialism in this country seems to be giving us that important message. They offer many incentives to help all couples achieve that high status of pleasure. Unfortunately, this commercial and highly-demanded expectation of good sex cheapens the act of making love, having sex or simply fucking. Why should sex have any expectations, obligations or requirements? Sex is supposed to be instinctual and driven by lust or nature. It is our primal urge to continue the species, that alone is such a powerful reason, why add more?

Of course when having sex you want it to feel good and to be satisfying, but when so much expectation or obligation is added on, it makes it seem so much like a chore than fun. Sex needs to return back to its natural state. Sex doesn’t need to be between two defined partners, it doesn’t need to be carefully planned or seen as so damn important. Once you release sex of all of these expectations, then you will really be able to enjoy it. This demand for good sex will no longer have such a powerful hold, simply because once its lifted, everyone will already be having it.